Saturday, February 14, 2009

#2 & #3.

I was too upset to write yesterday.. . 

Not only do I hate Friday the 13th (any month it comes), BUT I especially hate February 13th. Yesterday marked the 6th year since my mother had passed away. I attempted to spend the day sulking -- which worked until around 5PM when Joyce & Kim came to my apartment bearing gifts & flowers. We played World Tour for a couple of hours until I was summoned to the shower. Once we met up w. Tina, our night was filled w. strawberry daquiris, chocolate covered strawberries, cake, a lil' alcohol & 90's jams. Took my mind completely off of my depression -- which is why I love my girls.. . all of them from my bestie, to my trio, to everyone that just made sure I didn't kill myself. Thank you. 

RIP Cheryl Renee Providence.
7.27.65 - 2.13.03

Now for today.. .

Well, there's not much to say about today. I spent all of the beautiful day (at least it seemed beautiful from my window) in bed sleeping. I literally slept until 6PM. Now, usually I don't hate on Valentine's Day, because it always ends up good even if I'm not spending it w. Los -- but this year, fuck it. It's so depressing.

On the good note, he called. He called yesterday too actually. & we just spent the 3 minutes we talked telling each other how much we loved one another & then I cried myself to sleep. Sigh. Now I'm up & probably at my lowest low. The girls & I are supposed to go out for dinner tonight -- but I think I'm gonna stay in, order out & cry over love movies. 

Thursday, February 12, 2009


Back to the numerals, but this time they're for a reason.. . 

So, today my boyfriend had to leave me for the next 4-8 months. 
No, he's not in jail & well, obviously he's not dead -- but he's gone for a while. 
No electronics -- which means I won't be able to text him at random times throughout the day talking about shit that holds no importance.. . I won't be able to iChat w. him every night.. . & our numerous phone calls throughout the day will be greatly reduce to whenever. 

I've been crying since he left me yesterday afternoon from the surprise visit he made up here. This whole thing just sucks. I think I might take a long hiatus from blogger, facebook -- the internet in general. I don't know. I want to just be alone -- but my friends care about me too much to let me do that. I was able to stock up on Moleskine journals today -- I figured I'll actually start writing again & not sitting at the computer, typing. Before he left, we said we would make a 'text log' -- of all the things we woulda texted throughout the day if he was there, so these notebooks will probably be filled by Monday. 

I apologize if this post is just all over the place w. no structure -- this is how my mind is right now. I can't focus. I can't think. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can just cry & write. That's what I plan to do -- eventually I'll get better. 


Wednesday, February 4, 2009

25 Things You Don't Know About Me.

This little craze is going on throughout Facebook -- this whole '25 Things' list. 
So, I finally took the time out to throw up some of my random facts & figured I'll share them w. you folks. Enjoy. 

1. For such an artistic person, I am such a plain Jane when it comes to myself. I'm not big on change, unless I feel like its time for something drastic. But basically, if I find something I like.. . I'll keep it for a long time. (Like my black nails, that I refuse to have any other color since this summer.) 

2. I am actually a phenomenal thief. I've been stealing shit since the age of four & it's just become second nature for me. 

3. I am a professional partyER. I can drink my heart out, stay out 'til the crack of dawn, just to wake up w. a hangover & do it all over again. In fact, I have an alter ego that I call Chloe Brooks -- but I never tell anyone that. 

4. Although I dislike a lot of people.. . a lot of people, I still try not have 'burned bridges'. I try to make peace w. everyone at some point in time, whether they accept it or not.

5. I really only lotion my body to its entirety when I know I'm going to have sex. Other than that, in the summer its shins, arms & face. Winter, just the arms & face.

6. As a child, I always used to hate taking baths or showers. So I tend to take short showers. 10 minutes tops. 

7. I am starting to finally get out of my 'AIM Anxiety Complex' -- which I diagnosed myself, which is basically I felt that if I wasn't signed on to AIM at all times, then I'm missing something vitally important. 

8. Every time I wash my hair I cry -- so I refrain from washing my own hair.

9. I don't know how to polish my toenails properly. In fact, when I polish my toenails -- which is never, they look like my 7 year old sister did them. 

10. I can cook my ass off. I just chose not too. I know I can cook, therefore I don't have anything to prove to myself. So I tend to order out, almost daily. 

11. I've never changed my number -- in fact, I've had the same number since high school. 

12. Despite the 'hype', I don't like my ass. In fact, I would trade it in for fake boobies in a heartbeat. 

13. I've never had a cavity. Ever. 

14. Sad One: I absolutely hate the month of February & Valentine's Day, because I lost my mother at 14 on February 13, 2003. This tends to be the month, I cry almost every other day & seem like a real douche. 

15. I don't like my voice -- I hate hearing it like on videos & such. 

16. I'm like a cartoon character, think like Doug Funny -- each season I have one particular 'look' I stick to. This season I wear a small Hanes men's V-neck white tee, jeans or leggings, Uggs & some sort of hat. 

17. I tend to wear earphones in my ear, not listening to music for most of the day just so people won't talk to me. 

18. I tend to talk to myself a lot. No, I don't answer myself back. I take on a different personality to answer back -- is that worse

19. In reference to #18, I never had imaginary kids when I was younger because I was my own imaginary friend. Like I said, I would take on different personalities & just have a ball. 

20. I actually like being an asshole. Most of my inspiration was evoked from the movie 'Mean Girls.' 

21. I have freckles on my hands -- although when people first see them they think it's burned marks, so I just tell people "Yea, my father did it," which in my head means I got the freckles from my father, but others don't view it that way.

22. I tend to fabricate things to people just for the hell of it. 

23. I rather text people than actually call them. I just don't like speaking to people on the telephones. I don't even call in my food orders anymore -- I do it all online.

24. It takes me months, to find jeans that I actually like. Out of all the jeans I have -- I wear four of them faithfully, but two have started to wear away due to washing & drying, so now I'm left w. two pairs of jeans I love. 

25. I'll sit at the computer for hours doing absolutely nothing before doing work. I am in fact the epitome of procrastination -- yet, through it all I still manage to pull off good grades. 

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Out w. the Old.

I thought I'd try something new for a change.. .

All thanks to J. Kooms. Went back to black & curled it. I think I'm cutting my hair come March. Something short -- like a Keyshia Cole look. Who knows.