#1.

Back to the numerals, but this time they're for a reason.. . 

So, today my boyfriend had to leave me for the next 4-8 months. 

No, he's not in jail & well, obviously he's not dead -- but he's gone for a while. 

No electronics -- which means I won't be able to text him at random times throughout the day talking about shit that holds no importance.. . I won't be able to iChat w. him every night.. . & our numerous phone calls throughout the day will be greatly reduce to whenever. 

I've been crying since he left me yesterday afternoon from the surprise visit he made up here. This whole thing just sucks. I think I might take a long hiatus from blogger, facebook -- the internet in general. I don't know. I want to just be alone -- but my friends care about me too much to let me do that. I was able to stock up on Moleskine journals today -- I figured I'll actually start writing again & not sitting at the computer, typing. Before he left, we said we would make a 'text log' -- of all the things we woulda texted throughout the day if he was there, so these notebooks will probably be filled by Monday. 

I apologize if this post is just all over the place w. no structure -- this is how my mind is right now. I can't focus. I can't think. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can just cry & write. That's what I plan to do -- eventually I'll get better. 

Hopefully.